


With Just One Guitar

by matsukawas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU where Makki Oikawa and Iwa meet Mattsun only after university, Aged-Up Character(s), First Meetings, M/M, Music, in Ireland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:26:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matsukawas/pseuds/matsukawas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanamaki's graduation trip was about to end, and to be honest, he was homesick and tired and all he wanted was getting on a plane back to Japan. But one coincidental meeting at a small Irish pub changed all he thought he knew about himself. Love can be found in the most unexpected places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Just One Guitar

**Author's Note:**

> Please read!!  
> It's been over a year since my last Hanamatsu fic, but this ship just refuses to give me my life back. It took me over a year to get to write the second half, I hope it's not too noticeable.  
> There're some songs mentioned in this fic. Knowing the songs beforehand or even listening to them while reading will give you extra feels, but it's only a suggestion! Refer to the end notes for a list of the songs.  
> This story was roughly inspired by Alexander Rybak's Europe Skies! I hope you enjoy it!

_"I don't know you, but I need more time_  
_Promise me you'll be mine_  
_Birds are flying over Europe skies,_  
_Tell me please why can't I?"_

"Just a little more, Makki. Just a little more and we'll go home."

Oikawa told Hanamaki while lightly squeezing his shoulder, talking in that reassuring, reliable voice of his, but that didn't help in making Hanamaki feel any better. They were nearing the end of their two months trip around Europe, and honestly, Hanamaki prayed that that end would hurry up and come already.

He couldn't deny he had fun. Well, at the beginning anyway. Oikawa, Iwaizumi and him graduated from university, and decided to take a long trip together before they become real members of society and start working seriously.

They've been to numerous European countries, Hanamaki couldn't even pronounce the names of some of them. He drank too many different kinds of beers, ate too much weird, unrecognized food, and slept with too many people, not able to remember names or faces, not even caring for those. All he knew was that he had "too much" of everything, and he was a little overwhelmed and a little homesick, so much he thought he might explode.

To make it all worse, their very last stop before they finally flew back home to Japan was another island country, Ireland. Maybe it was because he was already done with pretty much everything, but that country just… wasn't to his liking. Even though it was July, it was freezing cold and it didn't stop raining since the moment they arrived (Oikawa and Iwaizumi telling him that July is a rainy month in Japan too didn't help). The people were too friendly, too outgoing, the streets filled with those youngsters drinking and laughing loudly.

While sitting all gloomy in their small hotel room, all he could think about was of their flight back home in two days, and oh how he would like to spend those two days in the hotel's bed. He was so tired from those two long months in a foreign continent, mentally exhausted from all the things he has been through.

But he should've known Oikawa just wouldn't let him do as he pleased.

"Come on Makki, come with us!" Oikawa jumped on Hanamaki's bed, pouting, begging with this pretty face of his.

"Don't wanna, leave me alone." Hanamaki mumbled and dove even deeper under the blankets.

"You're so annoying, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi interrupted, Hanamaki being grateful for that, "he doesn't have to come if he doesn't feel like it."

"But Iwa-chan, it's not good for him to be all alone!" Oikawa whined, pulling the blankets away from Hanamaki, surprisingly powerful, "Makki, if you come with us you'll cheer up, I'm sure of it!"

"The only thing that can cheer me up right now is a plane. Flying east." Hanamaki said, annoyed, trying to cover himself with the blanket again.

"I have to say that I'm a little worried about you, Hanamaki." Iwaizumi said, his expression softening, "You already had enough of this trip, I know that, but I don't want you to finish this trip with bad memories."

"That's right!" Oikawa said determined, clenching his fist, "I want you to get back home and think, 'Ah, I had so much fun with Oikawa-san! I'd really like to-' Ouch!"

"Stopped saying unnecessary stuff." Iwaizumi said, a little bit amused and turned back to Hanamaki, ignoring the whining Oikawa who held the hand that just got hit, "This might be our last chance to hang out together like this. Once we're back home we're all going to be too busy, who knows if we can meet as frequently as we used too. So let's enjoy the last moments of our trip, okay?"

Hanamaki stared at Iwaizumi, trying to keep his cool, but there was no way he could stay cool after this kind of speech.

"Fine, I get it," He sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "just don't say anymore depressing stuff like that. I hope you two are going to entertain me, because if I get bored I'll head straight back here."

"Got it." Iwaizumi nodded.

"You're definitely going to have fun, Makki!" Oikawa said, his face all brightened which made Hanamaki snort, "We'll make sure the next two days are unforgettable!"

* * *

 

The night air was cold, and Hanamaki regretted leaving his bed as soon as they stepped out of the hotel. He was wearing a coat, a scarf and high boots, but he could still feel the cold crawling on his skin, biting his bones. Luckily the rain stopped for the time being.

He looked with wonder at his two friends, who were as lively as ever, quarreling and laughing, like they share something special, known just to them. Looking at them made him feel happy and warm inside, but it also made him feel lonely. He has known them both for a long time, but they knew each other for even longer. Through the course of the trip, they never made him feel left out, not even once, but looking at them being all cheerful in their own little world caused a sour taste to appear in his mouth, and he despised himself for that.

They walked around the streets of Dublin, which were crowded at this hour of the night. The smell of alcohol filled the air of the Temple Bar area and it didn't take long for Hanamaki to feel like throwing up. There were so much people drinking and talking around him, too much noise, he started to feel his head spinning and his legs giving up on him.

"Makki, are you alright?" Oikawa caught Hanamaki's arm firmly. Hanamaki looked at Oikawa's worried face and he suddenly felt so pathetic for making his friends worry about him like this.

"I'm fine, really," Hanamaki tried to smile and stared at the ground, "I just… I don't feel like walking outside."

"So let's find a quiet pub and sit there, sounds good?" Iwaizumi asked, smiling at Hanamaki, and Hanamaki again found he was unable to refuse the shorter boy who was tough enough to handle even Oikawa.

"Okay." Hanamaki replied, his smile a little less forced.

"Why do you only listen to Iwa-chan, Makki." Oikawa pouted.

"That's because Iwaizumi is so cool and reliable."

"Who's even going to listen to you, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi added.

"That's so mean!!" Oikawa exclaimed, but he seemed to be somewhat relieved and he ended the sentence with a laugh.

They walked for a while longer, looking for a pub that suited their needs, and finally they found one, at the corner of a small side street. It was a tiny pub, it wasn't so crowded inside and it was warm and cozy compared to the air outside. The lightening was relaxing and so was the music - slow Irish ballads - and Hanamaki felt like he can breathe more easily, his head not so dizzy anymore.

The three of them sat at the bar, Oikawa in the middle, and ordered drinks. Hanamaki didn't feel like drinking at all, but Oikawa gave him a worried look again, so he order a Guinness just so Oikawa won't start with his annoying whining.

He took one sip, the strong taste filling his mouth, and surprisingly he felt a bit better. He turned to look at his surrounding, and realized again how the pub was pretty much empty. There were only about ten costumers, and then there were the employees and also, Hanamaki suddenly noticed, what looked like members of some band, who stood on a tiny stage and prepared their instruments.

"Are they going to perform here?" Hanamaki found himself asking out loud.

"Eh, that's nice!" Oikawa said, "I always wanted to watch a live show in an Irish pub!"

"But are they really going to perform here? With so little customers?" Iwaizumi wondered.

Hanamaki agreed with him but well, he didn't really care. He just hoped the music won't be too loud and screamy. He drank some more from the beer, the bitter taste really growing on him, warming his insides. Oikawa and Iwaizumi became quit spirited and they talked to each other loudly, but Hanamaki didn't mind actually. This time he found their cheerful voices nice to hear and he was happy to be left alone for a change. He was about to ask for a second glass of Guinness when the music suddenly stopped. It was silent for a few moments, and then the soft sound of an acoustic guitar pierced the air, coming from the back of the pub.

The three of them glanced over their shoulders to the little stage and saw that the band started performing. It wasn't exactly a band - Hanamaki noted to himself - there was only a single person on the stage.

A tall, black haired man, taller even than Hanamaki from the looks of it, stood on the stage all alone, holding a guitar, his fingers running slowly, skillfully on the strings.

"Say, doesn't that guy look Japanese?" Oikawa whispered. Hanamaki thought he might be right, but really he couldn't be bothered about that. That guy, no matter what he was, was _Gorgeous_. True, he wasn't as pretty as Oikawa, not nearly as pretty, but there was something special about him, a mysterious, soothing aura, he looked simply perfect, standing there with his guitar.

And then he started singing, with a perfect Irish accent, and Hanamaki gasped, his body suddenly shivering, feeling goosebumps on his skin. The man's voice was deep and low, Hanamaki thought it was the single most beautiful voice he has ever heard, though he admitted he couldn't think objectively at that point. With this soft voice of his he sang an Irish love song, and Hanamaki felt his body becoming hotter, and it wasn't the beer's fault.

"Amazing." He mumbled, noticing Oikawa and Iwaizumi nodding from the corner of his eyes – he couldn't take his gaze off that man.

Their eyes met. Hanamaki didn’t understand why or how but he found the dark eyes looking back at him. _Shit, did I stare too much?_ was his thought, but he was beyond help, he couldn't take his eyes away, and seemed like it was the same for the other guy, because Hanamaki was sure he was still looking straight at him as the chorus approached -

 _"Ill give you a daisy a day, dear_  
_Ill give you a daisy a day_  
_I'll love you until the rivers run still_  
_And the four winds we know blow away"_

Even after the sound of the guitar faded, their gazes remained locked on each other for a while longer, as though the world has shrinked to contain just the two of them, and nothing else.

* * *

 

"Makki, he was totally looking at you!" Oikawa shook Hanamaki's shoulder, bringing him back to reality.

"Really?" Iwaizumi looked at Hanamaki in awe.

"You think?" Hanamaki laughed, not mentioning the fact that he was the one who stared so aggressively first. "I don't blame him though, he probably couldn't help himself."

"But that sure was something, wasn't it? Really surprised me." Iwaizumi said.

"Who thought we'll get to see something like this in this deserted place!" Oikawa giggled, happy to hear Hanamaki was somewhat back to his old self, then gasped and shook Hanamaki's shoulder again, "He's coming here!"

"Eh?!" Hanamaki's body tensed. He looked at the direction Oikawa showed and god help him, he was right. That handsome, gorgeous guy got off the stage, his guitar still in his hand, and made his way to the bar through the tables and chairs.

"Isn't he just coming to order something to drink?" Hanamaki said to Oikawa nervously, not even knowing why he was getting so nervous. It wasn't like him at all.

"Excuse me, but are you guys Japanese by any chance?"

That was _the_ voice, _his_ voice, and he talked Japanese alright. There was a moment of awkward silence where the three of them just looked at the tall guy and he looked at them, observing them with his dark, slightly shut eyes, a grin on his face.

"We are, we sure are!" Oikawa was the first to talk, trying to wear his brightest smile but he just looked more awkward and Hanamaki couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or cry.

"It's rare to see tourists here, not to mention Japanese. What brings you to this place?"

"I asked myself the same question, and now I think I found the answer." Hanamaki blurted, not able to control his big mouth, earning a very excited look from Oikawa and a questioning one from Iwaizumi.

"Oh my, I might mistake and think you're flirting with me." the grin got wider.

"I _am_ flirting with you. Totally." Hanamaki tried to be smooth but something told him he wasn't at all and he began to think he ruined the whole thing for good.

But then the man started laughing, and Hanamaki thought he would do anything to be able to hear this laughter for the rest of his life. It was a pure, clear sound that rang like music in his ears.

"Is that so?" the man said and reached his hand forward, "I'm Matsukawa Issei. And you?"

Hanamaki looked at the huge hand with disbelief, then shook it and prayed his hand wasn't sweating. "I'm Hanamaki Takahiro, it's a pleasure."

"Sure is." the man - Matsukawa said and Hanamaki could feel his heart skipping a beat, and he didn't mind that at all. It was a long time since he felt this kind of excitement.

"Isn't that great, Makki?" Oikawa said, "The truth is our Makki was feeling pretty down lately, but he seems to be all cured now!"

"Shut up, why are you always saying unnecessary things?!" Hanamaki pinched Oikawa's thigh under the bar counter and peeked at Matsukawa, but he only tilted his head and blinked at them.

Oikawa winked and got up from his seat, "Please sit here, Mattsun."

"Mattsun? Who's that?" Matsukawa asked and looked at Hanamaki, but Hanamaki just waved his hand, telling him to ignore everything Oikawa says.

So Matsukawa ignored that and sat in Oikawa's previous chair, putting his guitar down on floor. Oikawa giggled and moved to the empty seat next to Iwaizumi, who still seemed to be oblivious to the whole situation but looked genuinely relived to see that Hanamaki is feeling better.

Matsukawa asked from the bartender a refill of Hanamaki's glass and another one for himself. Hanamaki knew he was probably being really creepy, but he couldn't stop staring at Matsukawa. From this close he could see that his hair was actually messy and wild, he could see his eyebrows were very thick, he could see how his lips were shaped into a cute, little pout. He could see how wide his back was and he could smell his sweet scent and he thanked Oikawa and Iwaizumi for dragging him out of the hotel.

"So, Takahiro," Matsukawa asked, and hurried to add after he noticed the confused look on Hanamaki's face, "I'm sorry, that was pretty rude, I'm not used to formalities anymore. Is it okay if I call you Hana?"

"Absolutely fine by me." Hanamaki drank the freshly poured beer, wearing a blank expression but he was actually screaming internally.

"So, Hana," Matsukawa repeated, taking a sip from his own glass, "are you batting for the other team?"

It took all Hanamaki had to not spit the beer out of his mouth.

"Actually I bat for _both_ teams." Hanamaki looked at Matsukawa hesitantly and for some reason his stomach started to ache. Meanwhile a different singer got up to sing on the stage, but they weren't as good as his Matsukawa. "Does it bother you?"

"Not really." Matsukawa smirked, "What do you think about Ireland so far, Hana?"

"I hated it at first, but I think my opinion just changed."

Matsukawa laughed loudly, and Hanamaki couldn't remember if he always was this cheesy and flirty. He didn't know whether it was the alcohol or the magical person in front of him that made him say all those nonsense, but if those nonsense made Matsukawa laugh then it was fine.

"What about you?" Hanamaki asked, a smile on his face, feeling the best he has felt in awhile.

"I _love_ Ireland." Matsukawa said, and something got brighter in his eyes, "I ran away from home ten years ago to come here."

"Why did you run away?" Hanamaki got all curious, thirsting for more knowledge, not caring if his questions are impolite.

"I wanted to become a musician." Matsukawa answered right away, "My parents really were against me becoming one, so I ran away. I haven't been to Japan ever since. Though as you can see, it didn't go so well." He scratched the back of his head and a sad smile appeared on his face.

"But you're really good?" Hanamaki said enthusiastically and he didn't know how but his hands ended up on Matsukawa's laps, "You're _great_ , I've never heard someone as amazing as you."

"Thank you, but it's not that easy." He downed his beer in two gulps and asked for a refill. Hanamaki took his hands off Matsukawa's laps and didn't look away from him even for a second, "But here in this country, they love music. They understand the values of music. So even if I only get to perform in some shabby pub, or even out on the streets, people would always stop to listen and I can make them happy, maybe even change something in their lives. Anyway, that's what I'm telling myself when I realize I'm broke and alone." He looked at Hanamaki and smiled a tiny smile and Hanamaki wanted to stop everything and just _kiss_ him.

"I don't know about other people but you sure changed something in my life." Hanamaki said before he could regret.

Matsukawa snorted, "You're really something, you know?" he patted Hanamaki's back, "But enough about that, I want to hear about you too."

"My life is boring and normal compared to yours." Hanamaki stirred the liquor in his glass, disappointed Matsukawa stopped talking about himself.

"There's no such thing as a boring life," Matsukawa opposed, "Why are you here in Ireland?"

"A graduation trip. We started it two months ago. Ireland is our last stop, we're flying back to Japan in two days." And suddenly this realization hit him like a lightning and how could he be so stupid and pathetic earlier, saying he just wanted to go home, hoping those couple of days would be over already. Oh how things have changed.

"There is nothing boring about that is there?" Matsukawa said, looking quite impressed.

"But once I go back to Japan everything is going to be… normal. Boring."

"What was your major?" Matsukawa asked.

"Architecture."

"That's amazing, I could never do something like that."

"Now you're saying that just to make me feel better." Hanamaki crossed his arms on his chest.

"Well, I know nothing about architecture so that's the only thing I can do to show you some support."

Hanamaki found himself smiling, "I like your reasoning."

Matsukawa smiled back to him and Hanamaki felt his heart beating louder and louder every time this smile made an appearance. He knew this is probably bad but he couldn't help it, and probably didn't want to.

"Do you like it? Architecture?"

"I like it now, but it wasn't what I originally wanted to do."

"Oh, what did you want to do then?"

"I wanted to open a flower sho-" He suddenly stopped himself, feeling so embarrassed. He always thought this dream of his was really lame so he never talked about it to anyone, not even Oikawa and Iwaizumi, not even his parents. So why was he saying it so naturally to a stranger he just met? He must be getting really drunk.

"What, a flower shop? That's really cool." Matsukawa looked at him in awe and for some reason Hanamaki could feel his cheeks burning.

"No no, no matter how you look at it it's not cool at all."

"It is cool. I don't want to depress you or anything by saying 'you should've done that' but… you should've done that."

Hanamaki clenched his fists and lowered his eyes. He knew Matsukawa was right, he knew he was a coward, afraid of following his dreams. This regret was always somewhere there, at the back of his mind, refusing to leave. He wished he could be more like Matsukawa, brave and free spirited.

"Want to take a stroll outside?" Matsukawa suggested and stroked Hanamaki's hair shortly, without making an eye contact.

"Sure." Hanamaki said immediately, still feeling the warmth of the huge hand on his head. They paid for the drinks and Hanamaki turned to inform Iwaizumi and Oikawa he was leaving.

"You sure you're going to be okay? Do you know the way back to the hotel?" Iwaizumi asked worriedly.

"Don't worry mom, I'm not a child anymore." Hanamaki answered, Iwaizumi scowling at him.

"Go have fun, Makki!" Oikawa said with a smile so bright it lighted the whole room and patted Hanamaki's shoulder twice.

"Oh I will." Hanamaki said, waved them goodbye and joined Matsukawa who waited for him at the pub entrance, his guitar resting in its case, hanging on his shoulder.

Hanamaki opened the door and showed to it with his hand, "After you."

Matsukawa chuckled lightly and stepped outside, Hanamaki following him closely, to the cold night.

* * *

 

It was still freezing cold and Hanamaki shivered in his coat. Matsukawa was wearing only a t-shirt and long jeans, but he said he was fine and that the body gets slowly used to the cold. Hanamaki couldn't understand how. It wasn't raining but the sidewalk was wet and slippery and the scent of rain was in the air.

They walked around the Temple Bar and Matsukawa showed him the pubs he performed at, some were huge and fancy looking, some were tiny and dirty, but happy Irish music and laughter could be heard from all of them all the same. And Hanamaki started to understand why Matsukawa loved this land so much.

After they walked around for a while, Matsukawa stopped near a small, round circus.

"Here is where I performed for the first time when I just arrived here. I was fifteen, didn't understand a single word in English and the only thing I had in my possession was my guitar. So I sat here and sang. That earned me a few euros and a place to sleep for the night."

"Your parents didn't look for you?" Hanamaki asked, leaning close to Matsukawa, so close he could feel his body warmth, smell him, hear his heartbeats.

"As soon as I got here, I wrote them a letter explaining where I was and why I came here, though I think they already knew the reason I left. They never came to look for me." He shrugged, the sad smile appearing on his face again, making Hanamaki feel like crying.

"You're amazing, for following your dreams. I wish I could be like you." Hanamaki put his thoughts from earlier into words, and with his heart beating loudly, he took Matsukawa's hand in his.

"I don't regret my decision, but I can't deny I had some hard moments." Matsukawa said and Hanamaki was pretty sure he was squeezing his hand back, "It's never too late to try and do what you want."

"I think it's pretty late for me." Hanamaki laughed.

"It's never too late." Matsukawa repeated, and his dark eyes were so serious Hanamaki believed him.

"Play something for me." Hanamaki said, not even knowing where this idea came from.

"Here?" Matsukawa asked, looking confused, but a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"You've already performed here once, right?" Hanamaki smirked, more determined, "only this time, sing for me."

Matsukawa snorted, "I don't mind, if that's your wish."

"That's my only wish."

Matsukawa chuckled at Hanamaki's over-dramatic way of speaking, and let go of his hand, much to Hanamaki's disappointment. But it was for a good purpose. Matsukawa took the guitar out of its case and set on a part of the sidewalk that wasn't wet. And then he started playing.

Hanamaki heard the first few chords and gasped, "Spitz…!"

Matsukawa nodded and continued playing and singing, and Hanamaki felt like screaming because that coincidence was too much. From all the songs in the world, Matsukawa choose the favorite song from Hanamaki's favorite band.

And their eyes met again, just like they met back in the pub, and as Matsukawa sang the chorus: _"The miracle that I met you is overflowing in my heart… I want you to be laughing by my side forever."_  - his eyes looked at Hanamaki like there was nothing else in the world, and Hanamaki felt the butterflies storming in his stomach, and at that moment he knew that he fell in love. Fell so hard.

He crouched in front of Matsukawa, his body moving on its own. He leaned forward and with a soft bump his lips closed on Matsukawa's. Matsukawa breathed in surprise, stopping his play abruptly, the street becoming awfully quiet, but also very intimate.

Hanamaki moved his lips hesitantly at first, scared of Mastukawa's reaction, of being rejected, but he didn't push him away and oh god, he was kissing him back, such shy, tiny kisses, Hanamaki thought his chest is going to burst. He caught Matsukawa's face with his hands, bringing it closer to his, slipping his tongue inside, tasting the beer they drank earlier, enjoying the way Matsukawa slowly followed his lead.

When the lack of air made them break the kiss, Hanamaki realized he wasn't cold anymore. He was actually sweating from nervousness and excitement all together and his breath was heavy. He peeked at Matsukawa and saw his burning cheeks and wet lips and he just wanted to jump him again, but this time he held himself back. He might've just destroyed everything with his actions. 

"Wow, okay." Matsukawa mumbled, wiping his mouth with his hand.

"I'm sorry, I really am," Hanamaki said, his chest hurting suddenly, "but how can I put it, I've just fell for you. Probably. Most likely. Oh god, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize so much, I said 'wow' didn't I?"

"And what do you expect me to understand from 'wow'? 'Wow' can mean many things you know." Hanamaki pouted.

"Don't make me say it," Matsukawa clicked his tongue, his fingers tapping awkwardly on his guitar, "It was a good 'wow', okay." He lowered his eyes, his cheeks colored red and Hanamaki thought it was the cutest thing he has ever seen.

"Wow, I didn't know you are the shy type, Matsukawa-kun. It was a good 'wow', by the way." Hanamaki teased, stroking Matsukawa's cheek, feeling it burning.

"I didn't know you are the sassy type, Hanamaki-kun." Matsukawa said, nuzzling to Hanamaki's palm.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"Well I didn't expect much to begin with." Matsukawa said that, but he grabbed the hand he nuzzled against and squeezed it tightly.

"Should I take my dramatic confession back?" Hanamaki teased again.

"I'll leave it up to you." Matsukawa gave Hanamaki a peck on his lips and hugged him, Hanamaki hugging back immediately, his hands running on his back and nape, the guitar still between them.

"So, you going to answer?" Hanamaki whispered close to Matsukawa's ear, feeling his body trembling in his arms, eager to hear his answer but also dangerously nervous.

And Matsukawa whispered back, his breath warm and tickling on Hanamaki's skin, "Let's go to my apartment."

* * *

 

Hanamaki opened his eyes slowly to a soundless morning, his body aching all over. The noise of rain tapping on the window was no where to be found and when he looked closely he saw the sun was _shining_ outside, meaning this morning could be nothing but perfect.

He… didn't remember much from last night. He remembered lamely confessing his love at first sight to Matsukawa and going to his apartment. He remembered the both of them talking a little and drinking some more, but after that everything got blurry. However he couldn't argue with the facts – he just woke up naked in an unfamiliar bed and next to him was Matsukawa, sleeping soundly and, well, naked.

Hanamaki felt warmth filling his chest. Matsukawa's hair was even messier, and he got himself hickies covering his neck and collarbones, and Hanamaki had to stop and admire how hot and arousing this sight was. He felt a tiny sting of pain on his shoulder, he turned his head and saw a nice biting mark on it. So naughty, Matsukawa-kun.

Hanamaki found himself smiling genuinely, thinking that everything is too perfect, too good to be true. Who could've known he would meet such a person in a far away country, who would've thought he will get so emotionally attached, so in love. But it was real, Matsukawa was real, he was there next to him. And then it hit him again, that their flight back to Japan is tomorrow morning, and he felt his stomach flipping.

He suddenly felt so empty. He hasn't even left yet, but he felt so lost. He quietly snuggled next to Matsukawa, trying not to wake him up, his warm body comforting him somehow. But Matsukawa woke up, as though he could sense something was wrong.

"You sure you should be awake? You were pretty wild last night." Matsukawa said in a sleepy voice, sliding his arms around Hanamaki's body.

"Good morning to you too," Hanamaki ran his hand through the mess of Matsukawa's hair, "unfortunately, I don't remember much from last night."

"Would you like me to remind you?" Matsukawa shifted and with a smirk on his face he licked the biting mark on Hanamaki's shoulder, making him shiver.

"From the looks of it you're the one who were pretty wild." Hanamaki said, pushing Matsukawa's face away, his hand sliding downwards to grope Matsukawa's ass.

"Oh no, not so fast," Matsukawa said with a slight blush on his cheeks, moving the hand away, "I'm still a little overwhelmed from last night, so let's take it easy." He kissed Hanamaki softly after seeing his discouraged face, "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it."

"Meaning we can do it again?" Hanamaki said in excitement, not caring how stupid he might've looked, noticing that Matsukawa actually smiled fondly at the sight.

"We can." He kissed Hanamaki again, "I'm going to make some coffee."

Hanamaki could only nod, watching Matsukawa as he put on his underwear and left the room. Such a strange feeling. He felt like he has known Matsukawa for years, it's the first time there was such good chemistry with someone he just met. He felt like he could be his true self next to him, he felt like he was at home.

He looked for his phone in the bed sheets and found it, surprised to see at least ten new messages, all of them from Oikawa. The first few messages were Oikawa teasing him, asking if he was able to get laid last night and asking for the details. But the most recent message said to contact Oikawa as soon as possible, so Hanamaki called him.

"Makki!" Oikawa screamed in Hanamaki's ear. He could also hear Iwaizumi in the background, asking why he didn't tell them his whereabouts.

"You were worried about me? So nice of you." Hanamaki joked, "But don't worry, I'm fine, actually more than fine. I woke up at Matsukawa's place after a wild night, apparently, so I'd like it if you don't get in our way for awhile~"

"Aww, Makki." Oikawa sounded oddly sad.

"What was that 'aw Makki' for? Don't be so jealous." Hanamaki said, a bad feeling growing inside him.

"Well, you see…" Oikawa started, "yesterday when you were feeling down, Iwa-chan and I were really worried, you know? So we asked if it was possible to get on an earlier flight, and we received an answer just awhile ago that it's an okay." Oikawa stopped to take a breath, "Makki… our flight back to Japan is this evening."

Oh. Oh man. Hanamaki grabbed the sheets with his free hand and suddenly felt like throwing up.

"I'm so sorry Makki," Oikawa said, panic in his voice, "I didn't know you'd-" Oikawa's voice faded and Iwaizumi's voice got on the line instead.

"Hanamaki, sorry." Iwaizumi said, and hearing Iwaizumi saying that made him want to cry. In the worst timing possible, Matsukawa entered the room, holding a tray with two cups and some cookies. One look on Hanamaki's face made him put the tray down on a coffee table near the bed. He sat next to Hanamaki and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, his eyes asking him what was wrong. Everything was wrong.

"On what time this evening?" Hanamaki was somehow able to ask, his voice dry.

"On six pm. I'm sorry we went and did this on our own without telling you anything."

"Don't apologize, you did it for my sake after all. I guess I should be grateful to you, but the situation changed a little." Hanamaki said, a bulge growing in his throat, and Matsukawa stroking his cheek with his fingers didn't help.

"I know that." Iwaizumi sighed, "If you want, I can speak to them again and ask if we can change it back to the way it was."

"But don't they charge you for cancelling or changing your flight?"

"They do, but I don't care about that right now. If you want I'll tell them to change it back, that's all."

Hanamaki couldn't express how much he appreciated his friends at that moment, for all the troubles they went for him. And he honestly didn't know if he could be so selfish and make them go through those troubles again. He felt so bad and petty for putting them in an uncomfortable position, making them apologize to him even though they meant only good. He knew he was going to leave anyway eventually, so what difference does one day make? He was surprised to discover this single day meant _a lot_ to him.

"I'll think about it." he finally answered, knowing deep down what his answer is going to be.

"Think good and hard. I don't want you to leave with regrets, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Iwaizumi."

"'course." Iwaizumi said and ended the call.

Hanamaki exhaled slowly, and his breath came out sounding like a tiny sob. He could feel Matsukawa getting all startled next to him, and he turned Hanamaki's face toward him.

"What happened?" he asked with a firm voice, holding Hanamaki's face with both hands.

"Our flight home, it's today." Hanamaki said and suddenly he found himself giggling, because this situation was so cruel and ironic it was _funny_.

"Calm down. It’s okay." Matsukawa embraced him tightly, and when he did that Hanamaki couldn't hold himself anymore.

"It's not okay," Hanamaki hugged back, sobbing quietly on Matsukawa's shoulder, "I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you. When we arrived here yesterday, the only thing I wanted was to hurry up and fly home already. But now I… if we just had one more day…"

Matsukawa kept on stroking his back, letting Hanamaki to take it all out, actually helping in calming him down, his warm hands putting a halt to his pain, even if just momentarily.

"You should go back." Matsukawa said slowly, after making sure Hanamaki stopped trembling and has calmed down, "It might sound cruel but…"

"No, you're right. I need to go, I know that." Hanamaki lifted his head and wiped the wet trails the tears left. After crying like he hasn't for years and thinking objectively about the situation, without involving any feelings that were born at the last few hours, he understood that was the only option. He had to go back to Japan and start his life as an independent adult, this trip's purpose was merely to make the transition easier. But him knowing that didn’t make things easier. He knew it might sound like a petty thing to an outsider, but for him this meeting with Matsukawa meant so much, made him feel so much in these few hours than he has felt for the past two months, years even. And still, he knew he couldn't, the pieces of rationality that still haven't left him cruelly reminded him of that.

"You're so strong, Hana, stronger than what you think." Matsukawa said, his voice when he was speaking as soothing as the one he used for singing.

"Thanks, but I feel really shitty right now so sorry if I'm not all excited about the fact that the handsome Matsukawa Issei complimented me."

"The fact that you can still joke at this situation just proves this to me once again." Matsukawa said and Hanamaki noticed the trembling in his voice. He looked at Matsukawa's face and even though there was a smile on it, Hanamaki saw how miserable it was, and it really touched him, making him feel better in some mysterious way. It made him realize they're in this together, even if soon not physically.

"Sing something for me, Issei." Hanamaki whispered, dropping all Japanese formalities because he couldn’t care more about those at that moment.

And Matsukawa obeyed, and while still clinging closely to Hanamaki, he sang in a quiet yet painfully sweet voice: " _Goodbye the person I love most, the one I still love the most…"_

Hanamaki felt like laughing at Matsukawa's poor choice of song, and as time passed he actually felt more like crying, but he didn't. Because he was strong. And Matsukawa was probably strong too, or maybe it was just his pure passion for singing, since his voice didn't betray him and he managed to perfectly finish the song, his deep, rough voice ringing somewhat melancholy in the silent room. They both collapsed back on the bed, still in each other's arms, knowing their moments together are slowly disappearing.

"Hana, I just want you to know I don't regret any of this. I don't regret us."

"I would be deeply hurt if you did," Hanamaki said, pulling mischievously on Matsukawa's nose, "same goes for me of course, even thought it might not seem so at the moment."

"I know." Matsukawa smiled whole heartedly and that was enough to reassure Hanamaki. "I want you to be happy, Hana, and do only the things you like while we are apart, can you do that?"

Hanamaki wanted to pull some kind of joke, but after seeing how serious Matsukawa was, he could just nod, his throat aching, and cling closer to Matsukawa's body.

"Life can be really demanding and harsh, especially in Japan, and I knew that and ran away." Matsukawa smiled sadly, and now Hanamaki understood the meaning behind this sad, beautiful smile of his. Matsukawa touched Hanamaki's cheeks and continued, his dark eyes looking straight at Hanamaki's, making his heart race all over again, "But you didn't run. And even if you still feel life is shit and that you regret things, remember that you're trying your best and fighting, for both of us. And if that still doesn't help, then… well, start over again."

That was when Hanamaki knew there's no way back. He felt like a white light was spreading inside his head, calming him and making him prepared for things to come, because now he knew exactly what he is going to do when he gets back home. He could see the way, even if it was just a thing of the moment, and all of this was possible thanks to Matsukawa. This kind, warm person, probably his first love, gave him the power to struggle.

"I will come for you, someday." Hanamaki said, the determination in his eyes making Matsukawa believe him without a doubt, "I'm not going to let you forget about me so easily, you got me back to my senses again, literally."

"I don't really get what you're saying, but I should be the one saying all of that. Takahiro, we are going to be just fine."

Hanamaki believed him.

* * *

 

Matsukawa was walking along an unfamiliar street, in a land he knew well but didn't think he would set a foot on ever again, if he were to be honest. He was nervous, terrified even, not that he had a real reason to be, but he couldn't help but feel out of place. After years of being abroad, he kind of knew he wasn't used to Japan's efficient and strict way of handling things, but the short period he spent at the airport made this fact even clearer. However thinking about the place he was headed to filled him with confidence and made him forgot these trivial problems. He can't really afford to be troubled.

The sun was setting, giving place to a night just as hot as the day it replaced, and Matsukawa found he was hiding a smile, remembering how Hanamaki whined about Ireland being too cold and understanding him finally. On their almost daily video chats and messaging, Hanamaki was still whining, this time about how unbearably hot Japan was, and in his current situation Matsukawa couldn't agree more, his backpack and guitar case leaving strokes of sweat on his t-shirt as he walked. It was July, just like it was back then when they met, and it was hard to believe a year has passed since. He could remember the day he met Hanamaki so vividly, he replayed the events of this day in his head so many times.

A year ago, back then at the pub he was performing regularly at, he was surprised to see young Japanese men watching his performance, and at first he was interested solely for that reason, drown to the nostalgic feeling of the home he left behind. One man in particular caught his interest, or rather, he couldn’t help it. After all, the stare he gave him was so intense it was impossible to ignore and not return one of his own. And Matsukawa found he was suddenly not interested in anything else around him, and a small, unexplainable thought popped at the back of his head - "how I wish I could sing forever for that person".

He got close to the three men without hoping for too much, but the awkward, dorky way Hanamaki (he learned later) flirted with him was too cute for him to handle, and he knew it was just a matter of time until he is completely captivated. It took one night. Matsukawa met with all kinds of people as part of his job as a musician, but something like this has never happened to him. He was never interested in having a relationship, was it a romantic one or a purely physical one, even though he could say without a doubt he had many opportunities to get one.

Meeting Hanamaki changed all that. He didn't know if they just had good chemistry or were just physically compatible, but fact stands that the past year his mind was full of Hanamaki, and only of him. It was all firsts for him – first time sex felt meaningful to him, first time he wanted to see someone so badly, first time he yearned for something other than music. First time he even considered coming back to Japan, and did so willingly. It was all his Hanamaki.

 _Hana_.

Matsukawa stopped in his tracks, and with a hand on his chest as if trying to calm his heart down, he realized he has arrived. He stood in front of a small flower shop, hardly noticeable at first, but the nice scent of the flowers outside couldn't be unnoticed. The door of the tiny building was colored a calming green and so were the windows, flowers growing in front of them.

Matsukawa felt like his heart was about to come out of his throat and he moved his hand to cover his mouth. He never thought he was the type to get this excited – he considered himself a pretty chill guy - and he couldn't put into words how he felt. The best he could come up with was like wanting to throw up and pee at the same time. Yeah, that will do. When he was satisfied with his little internal conversation, he finally felt he was ready to move toward the door. He was able to take exactly two steps when the door opened with the sound of ringing bell.

Hanamaki carried a colorful banquet and was about to put it outside the shop. He looked healthier, Matsukawa noted to himself, his face not as pale as he remembered and somewhat rounder too, and man, he looked so great and beautiful. Those were all things he didn't notice in their video calls, and for some reason he was so moved, unable to understand how he actually survived this year without being by Hanamaki's side. He just wanted to hold him, never to be separated from him ever again.

The sound of the banquet falling to ground pulled Matsukawa back to the real world, just in time to catch the 184cm tall man that jumped to his arms. Matsukawa thought he would fall butt first on the sidewalk, the weight of his backpack pulling him backward, but he didn't. Instead he wrapped his long arms around Hanamaki, trying to cover every inch of him, feeling his soft body, smelling the same sweet scent he remembered, now mixed with the one of flowers, making it more arousing, irresistible.

"You came for me." Hanamaki said, voice trembling, "even though I said I'll be the one coming for you…"

"It's because you were so slow. Besides, how could I make my fragile boyfriend come all the way to the freezing country of Ireland?"

"Well, your fragile boyfriend fought life head on and won, probably?"

"Not sure about that, but you sure won my heart."

Hanamaki faked a gasp, "Issei, didn’t know you could flirt like that!"

"I had a private tutor, not a very successful one, but one has to do with what life gives." He sighed and shrugged dramatically, earning himself a light punch to his stomach from Hanamaki.

Matsukawa smile, probably the widest he had smile in awhile, and pulled Hanamaki to another long, deep hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Hana." Matsukawa found it hard to control his emotions, but if his crybaby Takahiro isn't crying, he can bear with it just for a little longer. Hanamaki thought Matsukawa was brave and cool for following after his desires and dreams, but for Matsukawa, Hanamaki was the real brave one, and the coolest person on earth.

"It's all thanks to you, honestly. It's all us, together." Hanamaki pulled Matsukawa's shirt, "I know we weren't, like, physically together, but I surely couldn't have done all this by myself, right? Please tell me I make sense because I have no idea what I'm even saying, God."

Matsukawa laughed, as happened often when he talked with Hanamaki, "you don't really, but I'm pure boyfriend material so I get you."

"Really? Boyfriend material? Was that your best one?"

"Told you my tutor wasn't the best out there…"

"Ugh." Hanamaki granted, but he was smiling, so brightly, Matsukawa saw the whole world shining in front of him.

They walked hand in hand to the door, Hanamaki fetching the guitar case from Matsukawa, handling it with great care, with affection even. It was thanks to it that the two of them met after all. Thinking about it, the chances of them not meeting were far higher than the chances they do. But they still met. One could call it fate, or a coincidence, or simply a miracle. A miracle that happened in a tiny Irish pub. Two men, one guitar.

 _"The miracle that I met you is overflowing in my heart_  
_Right now, I can surely even fly freely in the sky_  
_When the tears that soaked your dreams run to the sea_  
_I want you to be laughing by my side forever..."_

**Author's Note:**

> Song list:  
> Daisy a Day - Jud Strunk  
> Sora mo Toberu Hazu - Spitz  
> Sayonara Daisuki na Hito - Spitz
> 
> As always, English isn't my native language so please go easy on me!  
> Also, no hate for Ireland or anything here. I've been there a few years ago and it's one of the most amazing places I've ever visited, will surely visit it again someday!


End file.
